Friday, February 25, 2011

Channel 19 and being a fish

Spinner bait

Channel 19 is the Mexican channel.  Anyone who grew up in or around Sacramento knows this.  Any males who grew up in or around Sacramento know this well.  I am a fish, just biting the shiny lure without giving a second thought.

Flipping through the channels, I noticed something.  Whenever I pass the Spanish speaking channels, I'll flip beyond it mindlessly and then involuntarily reverse direction to get back to the channel.  The women on these channels are so freaking hot that I am powerless against them.  It's actually laughable.  I don't speak Spanish even though I've taken Spanish one about three times, or at least began the semester in Spanish one three times.  I've even recruited Latina girlfriends during these periods to slyly enlist their help with Spanish.  I found that while their ability to speak Spanish is an asset in this respect, their Latina appeal is equally destructive to productive study habits.  Without naming any names, I admit now that in this plot's most recent incarnation, no study session made it past 5 minutes of studying before spiraling out of control into un-study-like activity.

So, when flipping through the channels, I won't even be aware of whether or not I'm going through forward or backward.  However, upon seeing one of these lovely ladies, I instinctively reverse the process by depressing the opposite direction on the channel button.  And I'll change back before the next channel even registers on the screen.  There could literally be the winning powerball numbers being broadcast through some pirate medium for my own benefit on the following channel and I'd never know.

Perhaps the most embarrassing part of this is that I'll watch the Mexican equivalent of Sesame Street-with no fewer than 6 women in mini skirts and halter tops that wouldn't pass the dress code at Hooters-for a minimum of 5 minutes.  It's hella funny that on Univision it doesn't matter if it's a raunchy soap opera or a toothpaste commercial, or an educational program directed at 4-7 year old kids-they all have women who could just as likely be auditioning for an E40 video.

Or weather reports
I'm not endorsing the brilliant marketing tactics and steadfast, inflexible protocol of the Univision producers that mandates each and every woman on screen be an absolute dime.  Nor am I condemning the practice.  This is just a commentary on my reflexive and completely rigid reaction to said protocols.  I'm literally a fish, metaphorically of course, who bites at the bait without even a slight concern for what the consequences may be.  In fact, like the fish, I am not even in a slight way, aware of any connected aftermath.  It's as simple as "ooh!"-chomp.  If ever there were a compelling argument for the natural model of humanity and a lack of free will, this is it.  You could set your clock to it.  I will consistently and reliably turn the channel back to see what channel 19 has for me.


David Fernandes Jr. said...

This may be the funniest video i have ever seen. And my mission in life is to mary a mexican weather girl.

David Fernandes Jr. said...

No. I retract the last statement. This IS the funniest thing Ive ever seen by far.

Cwatts said...

Yes indeed. I thought if anyone could appreciate the video it would be you. Also, I figured you would appreciate the channel 19 vortex that sucks us in, whether it's soaps, kid's shows, or boxing? "Hey mayne, I can't be standing like this for every day mayne."

Peter Anderson said...

geniuses over at the mexican stations. geniuses. the redheaded midget with the freckles? genius. hot weather girls? genius. burritos? genius.

Cwatts said...

It would seem our southern neighbor is more insightful than they have been given credit for. All of these things are picture perfect genius.