Saturday, June 23, 2012

If you laugh your face off it's probably on your keyboard

The first time I heard this, there was no context.  It was still funny, but I didn't know why.  After finding out what was going on with the video, it just got funnier and funnier every time I saw it.  So I'll help out with a little background.

Allegedly, this clown was doing a bunch of acid and locked himself in a clothes closet.  His buddies recorded him once they figured out he was just gone like Pluto (Lethal Weapon).  They then animated a gecko to put some pictures to it.  And voila.  We have the funniest video I've seen lately.

The language is a bit suspect.  It's nothing my sordid friends and acquaintances will mind, but if you're at work you might not want to blast it.  I mean, no one reads this garbage anyway, so who really cares?  But I challenge you to not laugh.  I challenge you.

And the boat is starting to fill up.  My buddy, the chief engineer Scott is back and that brightened the whole situation by a few points.  The guy is so cool it's stupid.  And I mean cool like a cool customer and cool like Fonzy.  At the same time!  For one thing, the guy is a car nut.  I think the only thing keeping him from owning every model of car every year is money.  Not that engineers don't get paid well,as is evidenced by the fact that he showed me some sweet pictures of his Aston Martin today.  Really?  An Aston Martin.  No way.  Not ever.  (That's from the video above). 

So the guy has cars.  Not that he needs them to validate his malehood, but because his ultra malehood dictates a sweet ride.  It's basic math.  And he's an engineer, so he's good at math.  Ergo, sweet cars.  But the guy is also just laid back and down to Earth.  He and I are on absolute opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to our prestige on the boat.  He is, arguably, the most important guy as engineer.  And I am without a doubt the least valuable player in this operation.  I might make the boat worse just for having a pulse.  And yet, he bs's and tells stories and...let me borrow his brand new Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 game to play until we get underway.  How cool is that?  I didn't even have to ask.  He said he had it and I suggested we play it.  He brought it down and was like "here.  Have a ball.  I don't play em till we leave."  He could have easily pretended he didn't have one and yell at me for being a degenerate. 

So that's cool.  It's like in Major League when Lou is like "I think it's coming together Pepper."  Well, the crew of the boat is slowly forming up and I'm seeing familiar faces.  And a new one.  A Serbian guy named Danilo.  He introduced himself in a pure mid western accent, but his name sounded kinda ethnic.  And he had some gulag tattoos on his arm.  I felt like Bruce Willis in Die Hard when Hans came face to face with him and said, "Please don't kill me,  you're one of them omigod omigod omigod..." and that his name was "Clay.  Bill Clay."  Well, we all know how that ended.  Bruce was onto him but couldn't resist, "That's some accent.  You should be on fuckin TV with that accent."  Kinda long winded.  But I felt like it was a trick.  Like Danilo was planted here as a spy and trained in Novgorad to be an American facsimile. 

Looks like a micro machine
I'm only kidding, but all that is true about his accent.  He sounds more American than me.  And he's a really nice guy.  Otherwise I wouldn't feel comfortable joking around about his perfect accent.  FYI, I joked with him about it too.  And I'm still alive so I think we're good.  And June got a damn Caprice with 28 inch rims.  It's ridiculous.  Beyond ridiculous.  He likes it.  I'm just not sure about that right now (Office Space).

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