Wednesday, June 20, 2012


I just saw something and had to stop what I was doing.  It was a little text picture of an exchange.  And it is what I'd call game. 

That's just perfect, in my opinion.  Granted, this all depends on how long it took for him to respond, like if that purple thing came ten minutes later, then no good.  But if he was quick on the draw and came right back with it, then it was gold.  Oh, and assuming the texters are boys and girls, respectively.

I'm not the best looking guy in the world, but I'd say satisfactory.  When it comes to wit and trickery?  Nearly unmatched.  I'm not gonna sit here and say that any girl I talk to is gonna buy my bs.  That's not what I'm saying.  In fact, I'm not much on Casanova and me and Romeo ain't never been friends.  The well timed wit is strong with this one though.  I'd be happy to provide a few examples of what I consider top notch game.

One of the more flamboyant game spitters is my buddy Deej.  Probably the funniest guy I know.  He just owns the self deprecation and charm.  One example is when he was out somewhere and just says to a cute girl that he liked, "I'll just be right over there if you need me."  Brilliant.  Totally unsolicited but not too forward.  Funny and cute. 

Larry David on Curb, after breaking up with his old lady, old what's her face found Xena warrior princess.  Uhhh, Who played Xena?  I was about to Google it then I remembered.  Lucy Lawless.  He said, "I'm not cool or anything, but if you'd like to..."  I forgot the rest.  He got the date though.

I think the very tip top of game in cinema was in the Karate Kid.  Daniel Larusso.  So they're walking into Golf and Stuff getting ready to have a good ol time and the musical fun montage is starting and Elizabeth Shue, or Alli with an 'i' says, "Do you play hockey?"  And Daniel says, "well...not professionally."  GAME.  And when she said her name was Alli with an 'i' and he said Daniel with an 'l'?  Fire game.

I'm not gonna recount all of my witty exploits, but a couple come to mind.  At one time I was talking to someone I was kinda interested in and she said something mildly flattering.  Very mild.  And I looked at her all inquisitively and accused, "Are you hitting on me?"  Fire.  A lot of this is in the nuanced delivery.  You can't just go out into the world unprepared and blurt this stuff out.  Gotta know how to doll it out with finesse.  Or an absurd lack of finesse.  Just can't be like Rico Suave unless you are that suave.  I am not.  Another time I was in a similar social situation and I was talking to this girl I kinda liked and blurted out, again totally unsolicited, "Ok look.  I might let you take me home.  But no funny business.  I'm not that kind of guy." 

So ya.  All of this because of that little picture I saw on theChive.  Just kinda got me in a soft spot.  That little flirty text exchange was priceless.  And the old napkin note, "Do you like me?  Yes...No...?" is a staple.  I have yet to see someone get that note and not smile.  It's not about being a clown or the center of attention, but being fun to be around and comfortable with who you are.  I believe it was Jack Palance in a Mennon commercial who said, "Confidence is very sexy.  Don't you think?" 


Deej said...

"I'll just be over here" Classic pick up line that works 7% of the time, but also never fails.

Cwatts said...

Yep. I've seen that one in action. With a little twirly hand gesture above the head to indicate where 'here' is? Having a Caddy CTS doesn't hurt either these days. You're gonna get soft like Rocky because it's too easy. Gonna lose the eye of the tiger and we're gonna have to go back to the Fireside to get that hunger back, like when Rocky went to Apollo's gym. Mighta taken it too far there.

Deej said...

I'm still chasing chickens in the alley behind Micks gym bro. I know my roots.

Cwatts said...

I'm getting real weak at that right now. Next time you go out and I ask what you're doing...chasing chickens.