So, today was just a tsunami, only I was riding it on a box of cheerios, not a mercury board. And before we go any further, what about this?
|John Pollard-IDK, could be?|
I'm just gonna say that the facebook deal felt like a government experiment in which people were magically infused (or medicinally, whatever) with Tiger blood with the recessive ADD trait, and then pumped full of ADD exacerbating meds. The only thing I can liken it to is Beer Can Beach in Chico, when the Girls Gone Wild chopper was hovering overhead. And everyone was just too nuts to really convey any thoughts, only react to stimuli. Like animals. It seemed that everyone was talking as fast as they could type, and rarely responding appropriately to any queries of greater import than "what's up?"
Somehow, I have like 150 friends after a few hours of facebooking. Just people coming out of the woodworks. I'm not gonna lie, that guy above has me sweating bullets right now. This post would have been up five hours ago if it weren't for the tennis match like parrying my alter-egos were engaged in, "He lives far away"-"He looks crazy"-"You're an adult man"-"He looks crazy"-"Why would he care?"-"He seems imbalanced" and on and on it went. Basically, it's the fact that anyone who knew John Pollard, and sees that pic and considers for even a fraction of a second that that might be him will die of laughter that won out.
I think Denzel Washington requested me to add him as a friend today.
Now that that's out of the way, the total experience was actually pretty good. However, either I'm the only honest person on facebook, which would make sense since I'm not up on the norms and mores of facebook etiquette, or I'm the only one who's act isn't together. Which doesn't bother me. I saw more pictures of my friend's beautiful families and children than I could shake a stick at. And I mean that. To all of you who have pictures of your families on there, I literally didn't see one that I won't strive to have when I do get a family together. And I commend you all.
Quick rundown, we had Miranda Vera, Elizabeth Donner or some such shit, uh Joe Gocke, Anton O., so he's still kickin, Lauren Cusick, Tom Geneste-who like Charlie Sheen
Even though I was overwhelmed by the whiz-bang-doohickery of the social network, I'm glad I went. I think. Definitely glad to have dug up some old friends. And I heeded the sage advice of a girl, who is in no way an ex, to stay away from the exes. Except for the instances in which it was unavoidable, or I was mildly curious, I adhered to this advice. And it's funny. I praise all of you for having beautiful children, but couldn't suppress my laughter in the instances of mothering exes. We can just chalk that up to immaturity. Doesn't bother me.
Note-The gratuitous use of the phrase, "It doesn't bother me" was solely for the enjoyment of Pete, my most steadfast reader. So Pete, you gotta chime in on that.
Double note-I tried to find Edmond To. Without elaborating, I challenge anyone to sift through the Edmond Tos and convince me they aren't all the same person. Interests-computers. Friends-similar sounding chinese names. The only deviation was apparently one of the Ed Tos is pals with the great Clarence Carter. Trust me when I tell you...They were strokin.
Quick question. Was I the only one watching the video jukebox on channel 23 the one time this song came on? And if so, am I the only one that knew the lyrics? If you got all the way through this travesty of a blog post, but didn't watch at least the beginning of Strokin, then you're buying high and selling low.
Triple note-And this is it, I promise. If we're gonna find the Mark Louie's of the world, it's gonna take some teamwork. Like two sets of eyes and maybe an FBI sketch artist. I'm just saying.