Whoops

I been a busy boy reading texts that have been butchered by auto correct.  I know it's probably old news by now and everyone has had their own fair share of them, but still.  This is some funny business.  It's like 21st century mad libs.  Remember those?  Or the joke when you'd name a color, celebrity, song, crush, whatever and put it into a pre arranged sentence?  Well it's kinda like that.  The top 25 are here.  They aren't in the order of funniest to not, so just get through the 25 and thank me later.  Happy New Year.  And if anyone tries to get you to do the Polar Bear swim thing, don't.  Unless you're a savage.  Or a little kid gets thrown in the ocean and you don't want him to feel bad.

I'll just slap a couple more for you lazy asses who won't go to the page.

Thought he found the loophole.

Sometimes you just gotta resign yourself to reality

I don't know why it's better if the dude is black.  But it is.

If dad were trying to fuck the mailbox, her reaction would have been identical

Fine line between tolerable girlfriend and whore wife.

I think I'm done.  I got weak at almost every one of these corrections.  My favorite are the ones with moms though.  Maybe that's cause my mom was so funny.  But when mom either flips out over someone's whore girlfriend, or their own whore daughter, or takes some really awkward stuff in stride, it is just amazing.  I think I'm done, but I might put another gem up.