Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Good enough, smart enough, and doggone it, people like me

Original Rico Suave

Some of us are more suave than others.  And I may have an inflated sense of self worth.  As well as over estimated my charm.  The scenario I'm gonna present is an all too familiar one.  I do this maybe 33% of the chances I get.  Maybe not line for line, but the foot goes in and I just gotta dig it out.  Luckily, I keep a shovel handy.

So I said something about moms and daughters and that I may or may not have kinda hit on both.  And I've kicked it with the daughter a couple times, you know, going to crazy red neck grandma's house and to the casino to play pin the tomahawk on the brave or whatever they do there.  And I made a visit to her pad the other day...

So, just to set the scene, for some inexplicable reason I told her that her mom would hump me when we were at the casino.  Ya.  Can't really explain that one.  And in the interest of full disclosure, there really wasn't any digging to do with that.  All I could do was be appalled and apologize.  While this was a clear statement of fact, it was quite rude to say.  For many reasons.  The two that pop into my head are 1)I'm talking about jumping her mom.  And 2)It might have sounded like some twisted challenge.  It wasn't.  Just another comment that comes out of my mouth without the benefit of a filter.

Well, at her house the other day, mom came home from work feeling a little weary.  And I may or may not have had a pop or two.  And mom was looking kinda good.  Mmm.  But she starts talking about how she's old and not pretty and wah wah wah.  Well, if I'm anything, it's a humanitarian, concerned about the welfare and self esteem of all God's creatures.  So I blurted out that she was pretty hot and had a nicer ass than daughter cause daughter was too slim.  And I may have admitted to wanting to hit on her at first.  And I may have told her it was our secret, all the while daughter is so flagrantly right there that it was about as secret as a breaking news story.

Well, I didn't think much of it at the time.  Just being a humanitarian.  But little Britanni with an 'i' extricated herself.  I followed and had to deal with the fallout.  And I did.  Well.  But come on man.  Really, C W?  We can't just let mom vent without jumping in?  I don't think this had any lasting effects or anything, but it has occurred to me that if I could be that clueless about what to say and not to say, I could be mistaken about other things, no?  I'm not the beach stud I used to be, so whatever charm I can muster is about all I've got.  Just taking a mile when I've been given an inch, like a six year old, constantly testing boundaries.  Next thing you know, I'm gonna be sneaking into the cookie jar.  Zingalinga ding dong!

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