Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Too soon?

That's the indoor pool

Front room
And the view.  Yawn
Lookie here.  Dub's got an idea.  The details are hazy, but the broad picture is I'm at the very least gonna rent one of these pads for a week or ten after my sojourn to Alaska's frigid waters.  I'm not bragging or anything.  It's just a fact.  As real as any fact can be like four months ahead of its coming to fruition.  If you recall, when I had something on  my mind, I freely admitted that not only am I not scared of islands-I seek them out.  This is how it went down...

For those of you at home, who have been paying attention, you know I'm headed out to sea.  Not gonna be fun, but will for sure be worth hearing about and make a little coin.  It's not all Donald Trump lotto like you here about on Discovery channel...yet.  But I'm thinking to myself, "self, what's the end game here?  I know we're gonna dominate this so bad that there's gonna be a life in free fall book, but what else?"  Self, I'm glad you asked.

Dub's charter service.  That's right.  I'm gonna learn about boats, ye land lubbers, sterns, aft, squalls, bilges and all that shit.  Then, I'm gonna take my happy ass to some remote island getaway-peopled with savages-but with the aesthetic value that white men and women can't resist.  And this, my friends is where I come in...
What's that?  Your daughter's afraid of sharks?  Better keep close dear.
Now, I don't know the first thing about boats and for sure can neither afford, nor will I soon be able to afford a yacht.  But every new ship has to go through it's sea trials, right?  So I'm gonna see what the island life has for me.  It'll be a good investment.  How can I realistically plot my life of fighting off pirates and dragging the Neusbaums through the Caribbean if I don't test it out first?  And it wouldn't hurt to have a Caribbean queen or six either...
So there you have it.  Long term-Captain Dub.  I wanna post Lakeside's Fantastic Voyage again so bad here.  Short term, taking a trip.  After the sea voyage, I'm going to vacay on an island.  And real talk, these places are big enough for a gaggle of free loading jerkoffs, so I don't know, take a number?  That's not a bad idea.  If fools wanted to come along, pack their bags, get on the floor and chip in, then it could be a true fantastic voyage.  Deej, you in?  I don't know who else even reads this worthless rag anymore.  Let me know if you're in.  Don't be shy.  Just do it.  I might be onto something here.  And I couldn't resist either...

No comments: