Mute buttons

This boat.  Let me tell ya.  The galley guy, who's culinary skills are on par with a hot dog vendor at a baseball game was being annoying today.  He may not have known it, but sometimes it's in the not knowing that makes it so annoying.  The chief and I were talking in the galley for a minute and all of the sudden this guy is screaming in spanish.  I'm sure it would have been slightly less annoying if it were English, but the volume level was at an 11.  Guy could have been singing Mariachi death metal with that stuff.

So I asked the engineer, because he's so handy and technical, "So have you made a mute button for that yet?" and I gestured with my hand toward Jaime.  Without missing a beat, he goes, "They're all over the boat.  They're called fire axes."  I'm sorry if I shouldn't be talking about this on a public forum, but that's hilarious.  It's not like anyone cares what I say anyway.  But seriously, that's going in the movie.  It's gonna be hard to re-create the effortless timing of the exchange, but we'll make do.

We're starting to crowd up a bit.  Even old 'yellow fin' himself showed up last night.  I guess mama is coming tomorrow and some others are starting to file in.  Word on the street is that there's a new captain and mate coming aboard.  It looks like the wind of change is blowing.  This dream boat is gonna start getting real real soon.  I'm about ready to head out to sea.  Get some fish on here and make some money.  I kinda need some new material too.  We need to get crewed up so I can write a few more scenes.  Supposedly, there are gonna be a lot more all stars here this season.  I don't know how I feel about that.  These guys underwhelmed me last season.  And that's being really nice about it. 

Fantasia

Artists aspire to what is plainly before our eyes.  As well they should.  But it occurred to me as I took the opportunity to enjoy yet another Seattle dawn-that nothing even our wildest fantasies can envision compares to the every day world.  The miracle of life and living is by far the greatest mystery and adventure.  Examining even the most basic stuff is to me compelling beyond words.

How many of us embrace this?  I was standing at the bow of the boat and saw, smelled, felt, tasted and heard a natural symphony.  It is God's symphony.  As effortless as an arpeggio for a pianist.  Da, da, da, da, da.  And there it is.

I was listening to some music earlier.  One of my favorite singers, James Ingram, was playing.  But there was no video.  It seemed silly that I wanted to see this person who bared his soul to me through the headphones.  And I considered theater and its attempts at stimulating totally through visual and auditory stimuli.  Selling the experience. 

Well, it's not too complicated to understand that a show or production should deal with as many senses as possible.  We are always looking for a greater sensation.  Many people take drugs to alter their mind.  When we are intimate with someone special to us, we want to feel a greater connection than a mere mutual contortion.  We want to capture the mind.  We even long for the familiar scent.  And so it is with these experiences that our greatest artists put together.

How much more then is the world in which we are totally immersed?  The colors of the sky-that could have been easily been written off as simply a sky and filed away as such-were dramatic in the extreme.  Deep indigo fading to the redish sunrise we are familiar with.  We would marvel at the TVs that reproduce this.  I marveled at the original.  Wow.  The gull flew over head through the deck light and was lit up in a stark contrast to this sky.  It was wild.  And it was real life.  That just happened.

Life is happening.  As I've said before, I am convinced that enjoying these breaths is necessary in living joyously.  It seems so easy.  On the boat, I have met many people, and these from very different walks of life.  The common thread is that people who are disposed toward some happiness are happy and deal with adversity well.  Those who aren't don't even deal with success well.  There's no silver lining.  Living with the disease of pessimism is a struggle as tough as any cancer. 

There is so much to be joyous about.  He loves us.  As we are.  Wherever we are and whatever we are doing, that remains.  Receiving this is a revelation every time I think on it.  Even as boneheaded as I am, have been, and will continue to be, this truth can't fail. 

I avoid the free lance philosophy for the most part, but there is no escaping a little taste here.  Time is an illusion.  It must be so.  There is no coherent argument for the flowing model.  There are compelling spiels.  But when it comes to defending models of time that treat it as a thing that exists as it appears to conscious beings who experience it?  It breaks down.  Time is static.  It is a road that is moved upon, not the car that moves.  So when it comes to eternal questions about God's promises and the like, we don't have to worry about it changing at such and such a time.  Because He simply is.  When asked, God replied, "Tell them I am."  Tenseless.  Even the tensed descriptions of 'was, is and will be' imply the same.  Tenseless.  Timeless.  And wholly real when I am on the bow at dawn.

Gypsy

In addition to Serbian plants, there are Polish guys named Jozef (Yo-sef).  It isn't easy to talk to Jozef because of a bit of a language barrier.  But he tried.  And in the midst of this Borat-like monologue I heard "and was take by gypsy".  Ah.  That perked my ears up.  So then I started listening.

There was still no chance of understanding anything he said.  But I asked, thinking this may have been in the old country, 'In what city did this occur?'  After asking a few more times and communicating something coherent he told me 'Seattle'.  Hmm.  I wasn't aware of any gypsies in Seattle.

I guess some 'gypsies' came and stole his buddy's car stereo?  Maybe?  It's like I always say, you gotta be heads up for those gypsies.    They'll take your car stereo in a second.  Am I the only one who finds it hilarious that someone I actually was talking to used the term 'gypsy' to describe a person and was being totally serious?  I'd go through at least a hundred other things before I came up with gypsy.  I may even exhaust my entire lexicon without it occurring to me that 'gypsy' is a thing.

Oh, and in other news.  My Serbian bud showed me the Wikopedia on his oldest brother today.  It starts, "Veselin Vukotic is a Montenegrin criminal and hitman."  That's how you get a party started right there.  \m/ all day.  I asked, 'But is he a nice guy?' and Danilo said 'Ya.  Pretty nice.  But ruthless.'  I just bet.  I'm respecting Dan's street cred more and more.  I mean, there are people that are tough and people that are mean.  But when you're talking about guys who are mixed up with Slobodan Milosevic?  Whole 'nother level.  So that's that.  Just getting to know my Eastern European friends a little better each day. 

If you laugh your face off it's probably on your keyboard

The first time I heard this, there was no context.  It was still funny, but I didn't know why.  After finding out what was going on with the video, it just got funnier and funnier every time I saw it.  So I'll help out with a little background.

Allegedly, this clown was doing a bunch of acid and locked himself in a clothes closet.  His buddies recorded him once they figured out he was just gone like Pluto (Lethal Weapon).  They then animated a gecko to put some pictures to it.  And voila.  We have the funniest video I've seen lately.

The language is a bit suspect.  It's nothing my sordid friends and acquaintances will mind, but if you're at work you might not want to blast it.  I mean, no one reads this garbage anyway, so who really cares?  But I challenge you to not laugh.  I challenge you.

And the boat is starting to fill up.  My buddy, the chief engineer Scott is back and that brightened the whole situation by a few points.  The guy is so cool it's stupid.  And I mean cool like a cool customer and cool like Fonzy.  At the same time!  For one thing, the guy is a car nut.  I think the only thing keeping him from owning every model of car every year is money.  Not that engineers don't get paid well,as is evidenced by the fact that he showed me some sweet pictures of his Aston Martin today.  Really?  An Aston Martin.  No way.  Not ever.  (That's from the video above). 

So the guy has cars.  Not that he needs them to validate his malehood, but because his ultra malehood dictates a sweet ride.  It's basic math.  And he's an engineer, so he's good at math.  Ergo, sweet cars.  But the guy is also just laid back and down to Earth.  He and I are on absolute opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to our prestige on the boat.  He is, arguably, the most important guy as engineer.  And I am without a doubt the least valuable player in this operation.  I might make the boat worse just for having a pulse.  And yet, he bs's and tells stories and...let me borrow his brand new Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 game to play until we get underway.  How cool is that?  I didn't even have to ask.  He said he had it and I suggested we play it.  He brought it down and was like "here.  Have a ball.  I don't play em till we leave."  He could have easily pretended he didn't have one and yell at me for being a degenerate. 

So that's cool.  It's like in Major League when Lou is like "I think it's coming together Pepper."  Well, the crew of the boat is slowly forming up and I'm seeing familiar faces.  And a new one.  A Serbian guy named Danilo.  He introduced himself in a pure mid western accent, but his name sounded kinda ethnic.  And he had some gulag tattoos on his arm.  I felt like Bruce Willis in Die Hard when Hans came face to face with him and said, "Please don't kill me,  you're one of them omigod omigod omigod..." and that his name was "Clay.  Bill Clay."  Well, we all know how that ended.  Bruce was onto him but couldn't resist, "That's some accent.  You should be on fuckin TV with that accent."  Kinda long winded.  But I felt like it was a trick.  Like Danilo was planted here as a spy and trained in Novgorad to be an American facsimile. 

Looks like a micro machine

I'm only kidding, but all that is true about his accent.  He sounds more American than me.  And he's a really nice guy.  Otherwise I wouldn't feel comfortable joking around about his perfect accent.  FYI, I joked with him about it too.  And I'm still alive so I think we're good.  And June got a damn Caprice with 28 inch rims.  It's ridiculous.  Beyond ridiculous.  He likes it.  I'm just not sure about that right now (Office Space).

Game

I just saw something and had to stop what I was doing.  It was a little text picture of an exchange.  And it is what I'd call game. 

That's just perfect, in my opinion.  Granted, this all depends on how long it took for him to respond, like if that purple thing came ten minutes later, then no good.  But if he was quick on the draw and came right back with it, then it was gold.  Oh, and assuming the texters are boys and girls, respectively.

I'm not the best looking guy in the world, but I'd say satisfactory.  When it comes to wit and trickery?  Nearly unmatched.  I'm not gonna sit here and say that any girl I talk to is gonna buy my bs.  That's not what I'm saying.  In fact, I'm not much on Casanova and me and Romeo ain't never been friends.  The well timed wit is strong with this one though.  I'd be happy to provide a few examples of what I consider top notch game.

One of the more flamboyant game spitters is my buddy Deej.  Probably the funniest guy I know.  He just owns the self deprecation and charm.  One example is when he was out somewhere and just says to a cute girl that he liked, "I'll just be right over there if you need me."  Brilliant.  Totally unsolicited but not too forward.  Funny and cute. 

Larry David on Curb, after breaking up with his old lady, old what's her face found Xena warrior princess.  Uhhh, Who played Xena?  I was about to Google it then I remembered.  Lucy Lawless.  He said, "I'm not cool or anything, but if you'd like to..."  I forgot the rest.  He got the date though.

I think the very tip top of game in cinema was in the Karate Kid.  Daniel Larusso.  So they're walking into Golf and Stuff getting ready to have a good ol time and the musical fun montage is starting and Elizabeth Shue, or Alli with an 'i' says, "Do you play hockey?"  And Daniel says, "well...not professionally."  GAME.  And when she said her name was Alli with an 'i' and he said Daniel with an 'l'?  Fire game.

I'm not gonna recount all of my witty exploits, but a couple come to mind.  At one time I was talking to someone I was kinda interested in and she said something mildly flattering.  Very mild.  And I looked at her all inquisitively and accused, "Are you hitting on me?"  Fire.  A lot of this is in the nuanced delivery.  You can't just go out into the world unprepared and blurt this stuff out.  Gotta know how to doll it out with finesse.  Or an absurd lack of finesse.  Just can't be like Rico Suave unless you are that suave.  I am not.  Another time I was in a similar social situation and I was talking to this girl I kinda liked and blurted out, again totally unsolicited, "Ok look.  I might let you take me home.  But no funny business.  I'm not that kind of guy." 

So ya.  All of this because of that little picture I saw on theChive.  Just kinda got me in a soft spot.  That little flirty text exchange was priceless.  And the old napkin note, "Do you like me?  Yes...No...?" is a staple.  I have yet to see someone get that note and not smile.  It's not about being a clown or the center of attention, but being fun to be around and comfortable with who you are.  I believe it was Jack Palance in a Mennon commercial who said, "Confidence is very sexy.  Don't you think?" 

Doing drugs

There are two types of people in this world.  Those that do drugs and those that don't.  And Asian chicks.  They'll do what you want.  Before you get offended, that came from Family Guy.  It makes everything ok if you're quoting something else.  But ya, I drank some coffee and I'm pretty spun up right now.  And I'm taking digital drugs.  Call of Duty online.

Not really sure where to start here so I'll just dig in.  But first of all, the scene has to be set.  I'm in the galley parlor with my little bootleg internet device, a MacBookPro, a PS3, flat screen TV, and full size keyboard.  Just excessive electronic doodads in my modest little slice of heaven.  And a plate of half eaten chinese food.  This is probably what it was like when Martha Stewart went to prison.  Walking in and assessing her cell and just deciding it needed a few personal touches, and it goes with any decor.  Welp, in the same way, after spending a little time on my factory processing boat yacht, I found that books alone wouldn't do.

The reality is that books and my imagination would probably do just fine.  With the piano, of course.  But that old human demon of grass, greenness, and other sides of fences kicked in early on.  And I needed more cool stuff.  It's all used, so don't berate me too much.  Except the piano, that was new.

Anyway, I was dragging a little bit earlier and thought maybe some coffee would spruce up this enterprise.  So I drank some cups.  And got fairly wired.  Then I had the genius idea of hooking the PS3 up to the internet so I could kill a-holes online.  Let me tell ya.  It goes like this: Nacho cheese, sliced bread, killing a-holes online, printing press, electricity (Ya I know it's paradoxical that the video game supercedes the invention that makes it necessary), then the internal combustion engine and finally the wheel.  That's the list of brilliant inventions in order of relevance, utility, and pageantry.

I kinda made that list ridiculous just to sell the sarcasm.  But the fact remains that running around and shooting at other people is absurdly fun.  And kids should not be allowed to do it.  This is sooooo bad for a person's serenity it's not even funny.  See, most of us who play video games have kinda stepped up from the basic stuff to this in a rather linear and progressive fashion.  I, on the other hand took a three year sabbatical from video games.  Meaning I am viewing the experience with fresh eyes.

Ya.  The eyes of an irate killer.  I haven't had this much irrational anger since taking andro in the old days.  Some of these clowns have headsets and what not when they play online and you can hear what they are saying.  Well, this one guy was cussing in Spanish over the speaker and I literally wanted to punch his face.  I had a litany of racial slurs just ready to go.  Under different circumstances, I might not have noticed.  But because I've been living a simple and pure life, it was slapping me in the face.  Kinda like when I borrowed the ice wench's ipod that had nothing but rap on it.  Just put me in a bad mood.

But this is different.  Because it's awesome.  On Modern Marvels, they had some exec from a video game company say that the objective was to immerse the player blah blah blah emotional involvement blah blah blah.  Well, buddy.  Mission accomplished.  Silver Star for whoever whipped these games up.

And you know what this reminds me of?  Playing Call of Duty online?  When I worked with my cousin Jeremy and brought my PS3 to work with a flatscreen TV and when we weren't taking calls, we played.  Ya, the outbound calls seriously suffered.  I'm laughing right now because we were even talking rates with people and taking apps over the phone while playing.  We had our little script down, so we'd take calls while playing and if something really needed attention the one playing would gesture at the other like, "here man, you want to finish this round?"  And that person would scoot their chair over like a dog dragging its butt on the carpet to get in front of the TV.

Ahh.  That was fun while it lasted.  And perhaps not too ironically, it wasn't long after that paradigm shift in work activity that I had to do something else for money.  We should have pitched that to FOX for a new reality show.  Good times.  I gotta go shoot some terrorists.

Walk away

I just got the best advice I've had in like five years.  June told me to walk away.  I think it went, "lol...walk away".  Friggin abaracadabara hocus pocus it worked.  This little problem wasn't by any means insurmountable.  It was one of those sneaky, doesn't seem like a big deal until you're too deep in the quick sand deals.  You lay in the weeds for a good twenty minutes and find yourself fully entrenched in Dr. Suess hour.  Just stories.  I mean...Stories.  Like you read about.  Library of congress type word output.

There is another guy on the boat with a high word output too.  And I think this advice is somewhat applicable to that situation as well.  I was hesitant to talk about it because I like these guys.  I for sure wouldn't say this to them so free of tact.  But third time's a charm.  Sometimes the best way to deal with this stuff is let it fix itself and complain to no one except the lonely blinking cursor.

It isn't the words in themselves that make it tough to swallow.  I am, by all accounts, the most conversational person in existence.  That may be overstating it a bit, but I challenge anyone to think of someone they know that is more so.  The problem here is that there is no exchange of ideas. 

The conversational side of me is more about curiosity than hearing mine or someone else's voice.  I want to hear cool stuff and talk about relevant cool stuff.  But being the recipient of monologue after monologue is tough.  It takes a pretty sweet soliloquy to keep me engaged for hours on end.  Even old Bill Shakespeare himself loses me after about an hour and a half.  T.S. Elliot can keep me going for about 45 minutes.  But stories about the drama on deck of another boat?  That's like a twenty minute max for me.  To his credit, the other guy's whimsical whining about electrical duties on yet another boat has around ten minutes of appeal.

Again, these are cool guys who I enjoy working with.  But when it comes to twelve hours of nightshift and having company imposed on me?  I'd rather talk to myself.  I actually enjoy that from time to time.  The stuff I say to myself is easily funnier than most of what I hear around here.  Except for one of the stories was decent.  Long story short it goes like this.  And imagine being told in somewhat broken english with an occasional bandito laugh.  On one of the other boats there was a love triangle.  It got ugly.  When they got back to Seattle, one of the triangle's participants introduced the gang to his wife and kids.  The chick had a meltdown and the other guy...I didn't catch that part.  But when they came back for next season, my buddy on the boat who has this penchant for stories said, "There go the three stooges".  That's pretty funny.  I'll give him that one.

But sometimes you gotta walk away.  Another funny one I heard from the commodore was a Polish joke.  How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb?  Ten.  One to hold the bulb and nine to spin the ladder.  Decent.  This fishing business is not for the faint of heart.  Just eats away at your soul until any bit of entertainment is like freakin David Copperfield.  Just oohing and ahhing over Polack jokes.  Just walk away.

Father's day

The first time I heard that song, my dad told me it was one of his favorites.  And now, it seems appropriate, when asking "why?".  That's the way of the world.  And so it is.  I generally avoid the holidays now.  I try to suppress images of my parent's birthdays.  It is not now, nor was it ever necessary for there to be a holiday to coax my thoughts to my parents.  I still think about them.  Every day.  I still have dreams.

When their passing was fresh, I had thoughts and even hopes that in my dreams they talked to me.  That I was communicating with them somehow.  I would grade each one on realism and naturally place the more enjoyable dreams in some category that made them real.  Now that some of the sting has left and my acceptance of their departure is more mature, I realize they live in my dreams the same way they live in my life.  As memories.

These memories are wholly positive and uplifting to me.  Please don't misunderstand.  But they are memories.  When I find myself in a situation that I'd like my dad to be in with me, like a funny show or something, I imagine what he'd say.  In these instances, his dialogue is of my imagining. 

But I don't have to wonder if he would be proud of me, or if he'd be pleased with me.  My dad was a good dad.  A loving father.  And he always loved me.  I believe he still does.  But even so, I want to make him more proud.  I wish he could hear me play.  And I really wish I could hear his thoughts about working on the boat.  It would be so much more real to me with this man who I loved to talk to about these things.

Besides the impressions in my mind, I still live with his impression on my soul.  I was given a great gift by my parents.  That of my perpetually positive attitude.  My dad was not a hater.  He stayed up.  I could count on that.  Even in my folly I see him and am thankful.  Even in my obnoxious manner I see my mom and am thankful.  I couldn't say they live still in me.  I carry some of their gift to the world.  My friends enjoy this gift.  I enjoy it too, in friendship.  There are so many other things they gave to me.  It would be an insult to catalogue them.  I want you to know that I am happy with who I am and thank you guys for it.  I miss you every day.  Still.  But I am doing better.  And I'm trying now.

Probation

My medical license may have to be revoked, or at least put in a probationary state.  I said Star Trek Voyager was the cure for insomnia.  Now, I'm not backing off of that completely, but the notion bears some scrutiny.  Naturally, I've turned to Voyager to help with my sleep issue.  Maybe I just went to the well too many times.  But I am kinda liking the show.  I'm almost getting into it.  That captain Janeway is closer to Kirk than Picard ever was.

Just so we're clear, and to prevent the immediate suspension of my medical license, I still fall asleep part way through the episodes.  But that could be because I'm tired.  Or, it could be the case that Voyager is an entirely likeable show that still puts people to sleep.  It is not logically contradictory for a show to be at the same time likable and sleep inducing.

The faulty assumption is that bad shows put you to sleep and good shows engross to the point of keeping one from sleep.  This isn't necessarily true.  I like Beethoven.  While he doesn't put me to sleep, it's possible that I could go to sleep while listening to him.  In the same way, I could watch a show like Voyager, enjoy it, and fall asleep while watching.  In fact, it's likely since it has been my go to program.  And the one that I watch when in bed.  In my stateroom.

The DVD players on the boat don't have comprehensive controls-like menu buttons or arrows-but only play and stop, so when watching a series on DVD, I have a better time in my room where there is a PS3 and a controller for it.  Hence my watching the series in there.  By extension, when I am watching the show it is from bed, where I fully intend to sleep.  With this in mind, it is the case that when I do fall asleep, it is with Voyager on as background.

Does Voyager make you fall asleep?  Or is it simply a function of it being on when I do fall asleep?  I think it helps.  But I realized that it's slumber inducing effects are becoming a bit of a liability since I kinda do want to watch the episodes.  One thing I can say about the sleep situation is that I don't fall asleep every time I hit the rack.  I don't avoid sleep by staying up.  Much of the frustration comes from trying to sleep in the rack and being unable to do so. 

Totally pointless, I know.  Just a roundabout and slightly concealed compliment to the show.  I am a Trekkie.  I loved Kirk and Spock and the rest of the gang.  I never got into the next generation (and never tried).  I'm not quite into Voyager, but it is acceptable. 

Today was the first totally sunny day in Seattle since I've been here.  Not a cloud in the sky.  The sun is always, or at least usually out at some point in the day and even when raining is never far away,, but today is like a spring day in Sacramento.  I think people from California hear about how much it rains in Seattle and get put off by comparing California rain to Seattle rain.  It's totally different.  Seattle rain is more like Hawaii in terms of the sky's appearance.  It's not horizon to horizon gray for days on end like a California storm.  It's more like a perpetual sun shower, or a misty variably cloudy pattern.  I'll take the Seattle rain.  It doesn't come down like cats and dogs and the streets don't flood.  It just feels perpetually clean and cleansing. 

Ok, party is over.  I'm talking about the weather.

Corey Watts M.D.

And it's time for another honorary title.  I found the loophole.  Again.  For some time now I've had trouble sleeping.  I trace it back to the tragedies of '07, but that's not entirely true.  I had some trouble sleeping before then.  It's just that since then, I've had a bit more.  Sometimes, like in this last week, I stay awake for two days, then sleep for a few hours, then stay up for another day or two.  It isn't by design.  I love sleep.  But when my head hits the pillow, I am basically flipping a coin.  Sometimes I feel that weight behind my eye lids and fall into a deep and gratifying slumber.  And the rest of the time I just see my inner screen blurring by with thought upon thought upon thought. 

But now, I am a certified sleep doctor.  Because I found the cure.  "Star Trek Voyager"  my friends.  It'll put a meth addict to sleep after the first hit of the day.  Just waking up after a bender and feeling totally refreshed, hitting the pipe or whatever they do and popping in the old Star Trek Voyager dvd and falling right to sleep.  It really is a powerful sedative.

Now it's possible that me watching voyager coincided with the circumstance of me being flat exhausted.  Possible.  But this isn't the first time it's happened.  Like any good scientist, I didn't draw the correlation between voyager and sleep right away.  Kinda like how people watched apples fall out of trees for centuries before working out gravity.  So I'm kinda like Isaac Newton.  In a sense.  And like Ike, I'm a good scientist (I am not a scientist at all, actually).  I carefully considered all of the factors before forming a cogent hypothesis. 

The first thing that popped into my head was that it was only when I was of a limited capacity to reason that I popped Voyager in, and my capacity to reason is seldom compromised, so it was easy to find the correlation between lack of sleep and this choice of entertainment.  But that was at first.  As I noticed that every time I played the dvd, I had to scour my memory to remember where I left off, it occurred to me that I was falling asleep during the programming.  With all the time I've spent on this boat-much of which is spent in the galley parlor watching dvd's-I've gone through a few.  I even made it through Future Zone and Future Force without falling asleep.

So, having watched every dvd on the boat, including the Tyler Perry movies June likes to bring, it is only the Voyager series that is putting up a fight.  A word about Tyler Perry.  If you don't watch these, I can't blame you.  But if you have watched them, then you'll understand what I'm about to say.  Every one has gotten me.  There's always a point when the dialogue and acting is just so powerful.  I can't explain what it is.  But I've seen like four of them and they all got me.  So there you go.  They look silly to me in the trailers and stuff, but I find that I always enjoy them.

So, you can go around taking your ambien and Tylenol PM and benadryl to fall asleep.  One episode of Voyager is like two xanax.  Easily.  And have you ever shamelessly spilled water on yourself when drinking?  I don't mean shamelessly drinking a lot of water and finding that you had a little spill.  I'm talking about just guzzling some water out of a too big cup and feeling it seep around your mouth and on to your chest but deciding in that brief period that you'd rather deal with the spill than stop drinking.  Maybe you're making some guttural noises too?  It's kind of like scratching an itch when you know it's making it worse but it just feels so good you can't stop.  Ya that happened.  I kinda thought it was funny how I didn't spill on accident and didn't stop when I noticed, but decided consciously that I didn't care and needed that full twenty ounces of water now.  In sleep medical school they said it was good to hydrate.