Sunday, April 15, 2012

Nap time

Ya.  So my room mate 'Nap time', also known as Dawit something or other just made my life.   Something truly extraordinary happened.  I don't even know where to begin.  Let's just tell it like it is.  We are heading back to Seattle now.  The party is over.  We are coming home.  But before we started the steam, we did an off-load.  And Nap time was in the freezer. 

Ok, so he was taking a long time to get ready.  I had my little privacy screen up so I couldn't see, but I could feel him thinking about something.  And not turning off the light so I could get my extra hour of sleep.  Finally he left, but not before slamming the door.  A couple minutes later, Robbie came into my room with the news, "hey, uh, Corey?  Nap time is out there wearing one of your freezer boots."  "What do you mean?  One of them?"  Robbie left.

The scene when I came out to the break room was an expectant one.  Everyone was likely curious about what kind of rant I'd have for Nap time.  I was unprepared for what I saw.  Nap time had a size 8 right boot on his right foot and my size 13 right boot on his left foot.  Are you fucking kidding me?  He spent ten minutes figuring out his off-load attire and this is what he came up with?  I don't remember what I said.  And it's a shame.  This was a blue ribbon rant.  Not too subtle, but far less inflammatory than it could have been.  Nearly everyone in the room was suppressing a laugh.  A few people murmured things to the effect of 'we tried to tell him'.  Priceless.

While I'm on the subject of steaming home, I'll mention that we are doing the final cleanup for the end of the season.  Shit.  It's as little fun as you can have not getting anally probed.  And if you can help it, don't ever hire an Ethiopian housekeeper.  I hate to profile, but we're 0 fer 4 on Ethiopians.  Nap time is Ethiopian too.  In fact, the fellas from Mali aren't too good either.  Wherever Baba is from, they clean ok.  But Baba got pressure washed in the eye so he's now out.  Bummer.

The big one, Midnight, would come by every now and then and say 'cleanup is ok'.  Ya.  Sure.  I saw him literally napping in the breakroom while everyone was cleaning.  Ya, Midnight, it looks like cleanup is going ok for you.  The friggin all-stars clean with a zeal usually reserved for the geriatric.  Our foreman, Mamdou turned the pressure hoses off because everyone was just hosing stuff instead of scrubbing.  I caught Ayani squirting stuff with the pressure hose that was turned off while sitting down.  The hose at that point had the stream of an 8 year old peeing.  This is to say that as far as pee goes, it was a pretty strong stream.  For a pressure washer it was decidedly not.  He wasn't even hosing stuff down like they normally do with the pressure washer from like 4 feet away-a distance that mitigates the pressure washing effect.  He was just getting stuff that was already wet wetter.  I literally unhooked the line from the fitting.  He put it down after a minute.  Embarrassing.

Sadly, there are a bunch of red necks on the boat.  And every negative sterotype that exists has been reinforced vigorously during cleanup. Bummer.  I sang 'Living on a Prayer' for a good hour.  And it's not like I know the whole song.  I sang the chorus, full force, for an hour.  And I did British soccer commentary for a while too.  It's a good thing we're heading back.  It's getting a bit dodgy indeed.  Nap time.  He rules.  Oh, and he quit again because he wanted to sleep.  Then was back to work the next day.

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