Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Party time

Now we're talking!  I have a bottle in my lap and I'm listening to Billy Idol.  If you think the life in free fall is some nebulous, ethereal type metaphor, think again.  The ironic thing is that I have a job interview in the next couple days...At a real job.  And no bull, the dude said "the women who work here are intimidating." I said, "huh?  What?  Like they'll kick my ass?"  He was like, "no, they're really good looking.  Most guys can't keep it together."  Really?  Sounds like a big problem I'll just have to battle through.  He goes, "One of the women was Miss Utah.  Don't worry Rudy.  I'll keep it together.  I invented big league inverted.

So this is actually hilarious.  I was messaging my main man deej and we decided we had to move to an island.  I'm ready to bail.  He's ready to bail.  So I got online and was looking into how I could jump on a banana boat and get to an island.  It occurred to me that one of my dad's customers offered him a job in the Cayman islands a few years ago.  He probably knows something about island life right?  Gave him a shout.  He didn't have any action on the island because he opened a store around here.  I didn't even know what kind of store it was, I just, bold as brass asked him, "Can you hire me?"  He thought about it and asked me to pop in.

The way I have it figured, I just have to keep a straight face when I meet the smokes who work there.  Billy Idol didn't trip off of hot chicks.  Neither will I.  Oh, and just so you know, Rudy didn't say anything dirty or anything, just that the girls were good looking, so don't go thinking my boss is a creep. Just giving a guy fair warning.  Appreciate it.

So, I was in the act of finding a way out of the country and may have stumbled into a job with beauty queens in Roseville.  Could be something positive.  Funny that I got the best news I've had lately and I grabbed a bottle from the gay guy downstairs and am just taking it to the dome.  750ml  down the hatch. Pfft.


Peter Anderson said...

...and just as i was about to launch into a rant about your chauvinist pig boss-to-be. good save, way to pick him up.

i do have to admit though, after seeing the title, i was expecting a little more party, and a little less sitting on the couch with a keyboard and a bottle. i mean, i like to party that way, so did EAP ((edgar allen poe)(though he probably more with a feather-quill pen and a beaker of absinthe)), but i was hoping for some actual torching cars-and-blowing-lines-of-smack-off-hooker-tits type partying.

either way, good luck with the job. what kinda store is it?

dub said...

Ya it was like 50% ironic that I wasn't partying. Even though I did have a dream last night that I was driving a drop top Ferrari through Curtis Park with Avenged Sevenfold. That was kinda strange. Seriously. That was weird and we were partying.

PS, if you have a line on blowing lines of smack off hooker tits type party, I'm all ears. I just don't find myself in that whole hooker/smack crowd, unfortunately.

David Fernandes Jr. said...

Give me that job or get me off this continent.

Cwatts said...

I haven't given up on jumping ship on the continent theory. But ya, I'll give this gig the ol' home team effort.

Peter Anderson said...


Peter Anderson said...

cmon. quit withholding.

Anonymous said...

My bad dude. I haven't been on the computer. I'll get back into it and give you all the musings you could ever want. I bet you could find something you haven't read yet though if you dig in the archives a little.