Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Wacky foreigners

If you've been following along, then you know that there is a nice mix of nationalities and cultures on the boat.  We have the African all-stars, who have taught me "yalialah" and "habibi" which mean 'let's go' and 'baby' respectively.  And apparently, flushing the toilet as well as using soap and deodorant are optional.  Among the foreigners are our friends from the former Soviet Union, Da?

I walked into an electrical closet and the two Slavics, for lack of a better term, were scrutinizing some cathode ray tubes in an ancient apparatus.  Naturally I was suspicious.  I let slip, "Oh crap.  It's a KGB mind control device."  Vlad laughed and said, "Yes, of course."  Duh.

To date, the wackiest of foreigner moments went like this...I opened the door to the bathroom in the breakroom and was greeted by the wild eyed Vasily taking a crap and some rapid fire Russian that must have meant 'occupied.'  No problem.  So far.  These things happen.  People forget to lock the door.  But, shortly after that I went to the head we use near our bunks.  I walked in and found a skinny white ass staring at me in like the middle of the bathroom.  Yep.  It was Vasily.  He managed to look at me without turning his shoulders even a little bit.  He was like an owl, just craning his zany Russian head nearly 180 degrees.  "Oh.  Is Ok."  Guess that covers that.  He was showering in the middle of the bathroom rather than the shower stall.  The best I could figure, he was out in the open because there wasn't enough light or room in the stall.  All the while, he's gesticulating wildly while completely naked and wet.  Had his leg propped up on the garbage can and everything.  You know, to get at those sensitive places with maximum effectiveness.  He was basically doing a full on Ren and Stimpy, just scrubbing his junk with the old groin floss with the wash cloth.  "Is OK!"

Those wacky foreigners.  It turns out they were both in the Soviet Army.  And both dudes are cool as hell.  Vasily is a bit moe wacky than Vlad, admittedly.  But sometimes you're just wacky by proxy.  That move in the shower was about wacky enough for the whole boat. 

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